As a result of P.McQ's "Lax-O-Tea", last night I expelled the biggest, foulest and most hideous demon known to man. It was inhuman. I think things came out of me that had been inside of me for a long time. In fact, I'm sure I saw a bit of the cake from my 13th birthday party. My abs hurt today. From shitting. That is not normal.

And just in case I haven't COMPLETELY made you sick just yet, let me describe the odor...