Amazing weekend. Simply amazing how life can happen and your perspective can change in a heartbeat.
Was a good (long) ride down to Bethesda on Friday. Mom mapped the ultra-scenic route which took us down most of the Appalachian trail, through Rocky Mountain National Park, the Everglades and past Mt. Rushmore. Right to Bethesda, MD. Cause she hates the Jersey Turnpike. But I won't go there. Roadtrips with Mom are worthy of an entire blog unto itself.
We got in Friday evening - stayed at a beautiful Hyatt - and had a great dinner. After 2 glasses of wine, I got sappy and nostalgic (as I often do) Ended up texting "The Ex" (shall we call him The Brit? He's a Brit. It seems fitting) was just wondering what he was up to. He was in the middle of a horrible date. We both seemingly are having our shares of those. After a few texts back and forth, culminating in a heated discussion, I shut my phone off and Mom and I pay-per-viewed "The 40-Year Old Virgin" -- damn funny movie!
I got up Saturday morning and hit the hotel fitness room. Apparently when gyms upgrade and throw out their old weight machines, they are snapped up by hotels for their fitness rooms. Some of these dinosaur contraptions looked like torture devices. All kinds of miscellaneaous straps and cables. Quite eerie, actually. But I made do. After 6+ hours in the car and a huge dinner the previous night, something physical needed to be done.
I spent the early afternoon wandering the streets of Bethesda. It's actually a really nice city. Very new and clean, and far enough south that the people are a whole lot nicer than here. The seminar was at 2:00. There were about twelve other people there as well as the presenter and her husband. I learned a lot about the program. I also learned a lot about ME and the fact that I REEEEEALLY WANNA DO THIS!!! So I am gonna see where it goes. All my shit's in - profile's complete - and today I got my invite to the very big, very important Recruitment Fair in Boston (February) More on all that as it unfolds.
We left after the seminar and got home (via the NJ Tpk) in about 4 hours. My pining heart led me to call The Brit. I went over to the house we once shared and we spent some time together. We saw each other again yesterday (after my 4-hour "Evil-Coffee-Empire" Community Outreach venture: planting bulbs, raking, and painting the local library). Had dinner and saw "Pride & Prejudice" -- HOLY CRAP what an excellent film! And the soundtrack... I say again, HOLY KEE-RAP! Loved it. Completely.
Had good speaks with The Brit. He knows where my heart is and what I want to do. He knows I am going to pursue this teaching overseas thing. I know he wants to find a wife and build a life together. We are in a no-win situation. Yet, there is so much love there. So we're doing this: spending time with one another. No expectations. I say, keep up your hunt - if you find someone you want to pursue, I will not stand in your way. But know that this is just for now - it's all it can be. And the thing is, KNOWING that is making it so much more passionate. Is this weird/wrong/possible/stupid/crazy/selfish? I don't know. And truthfully, I don't care.