Tuesday, May 30, 2006


And it's also 1:00 AM. And I am laying here, not sleeping. Because of afore-mentioned hotness. I could put on the air conditioner, but I won't -- for two reasons:

1. I am ALWAYS cold. And when the weather finally started getting warm, I went on and on about how "I'll never use A/C... I just loooove warm weather... blah blah blah." Asshole.

But also because

2. I'm afraid there are creepy things that have been living in the A/C unit all winter and if I turn it on without cleaning it (or more likely, begging someone else to clean it for me) a swarm of said creepy things will blow out at me.

So instead, I am laying here, not sleeping.

So today was Memorial Day (I guess technically it was yesterday) and, as tradition dictates, I baked in the sun with about 65 of my kids at the town's ceremony. For a long long time. And through many many speeches. When it ended, I wanted to bolt the hell out of there as fast as I could. I was gathering up all the percussion stuff and loose music when the Superintendent of Schools came over to thank me for being there.

Normally I get a simple handshake, but perhaps the heat had affected his brain or maybe he was extra-grateful, because he leaned in to do the cordial 'fake-kiss-on-the-cheek'. At the exact moment when I happened to turn my head to yell at a kid. And so the Super got ear. And that was awkward as ass.

I stopped off at my friend D's BBQ for "one drink" -- which became four drinks. And lots of food. And I came home and I think I fell asleep by like 8:30. Which may explain why I am awake now. And my head hurts.

And it's fucking HOT.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


1. Who's better than me? Who predicted this in March? Thank you.
No no -- you're too kind. Really.

- and -

2. As promised, and in reference to this, I proudly present: "Asian Nail Salon Buddha Shrine" [photo courtesy of HIM]

Apparently Buddha takes his coffee black. And, let's face it, even "The Awakened One" cannot resist the snacktastic, chewy goodness of a Rice Krispy Square. Mmmm...

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


10. HE is absolutely brilliant in every area that appeals to me (linguistics, art, music, politics, religion, etc.) And HE is completely humble.

9. HE sat (with HIS laptop) waiting while I got a manicure.

8. HE snuck his digital camera into the Asian nail place - during above-mentioned manicure - to get a photo of the Starbucks offering at the Buddha shrine for my blog. [picture forthcoming]

7. When we're at my brother's house, HE spends the majority of the visit playing cars with Bean, or paying attention to their needy puppy.

6. Two words: "daily poems".

5. Instead of bringing me a boquet of flowers at my concert, HE gave me several packages of chocolate Twizzlers.

4. HE takes great pride in making HIS family's secret-recipe salad for gatherings, sometimes spending hours getting it just right.

3. Our last postcoital activity consisted of HIM trying to get HIS cellphone to "talk dirty" by punching in "7-8-9 ... 7-8-6-2" in Voice mode. We laughed way too hard over this.

2. HE gets me more than anyone ever has. Because of this, I am able to be myself. And HE STILL likes me.

1. HIS ass.

Friday, May 19, 2006


Monday, May 15, 2006


You know a post isn't funny when your dead relatives give you shit about in your dreams.

Who knew there was internet access beyond the grave?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


I am doing a piece of music with one of my bands that calls for rainsticks. Real rainsticks are expensive. So I found a website (all hail the internet) that shows you how to make one out of mailing tubes and dried corn. I made the first one last week with the help of my good friend, P.McQ and her cute little spawn. I showed it to my kids the next day at school and they were actually impressed!

In case you've forgotten, middle school kids are highly apathetic and, even if they think something is really cool and interesting, they work very hard NOT to show it. But there were definitely a few sparks, and three kids have already brought in rainsticks they themselves made at home. So I'm gonna run with it, damn it.

Tonight I decided to make another one. I got really big mailing tubes this time and sat on my floor with my hammer, nails and a cup of tea. And I watched about an hour of this horrendous TV-movie about what life will be like when the Bird Flu hits us. What a grim depiction. We are so fucked. The scene where the dump truck drops a load of dead bodies (wrapped in sheets and duct tape) into a ditch was about all I could take.

Luckily, since I am becoming Martha Stewart, I plan to be quarantined on house arrest. So while all you suckers are coughing up your lungs, I'll be making sweet centerpieces out of IV bags, and brewing up pots of Cipro tea.

Monday, May 08, 2006


One of my favorite things to do during my classes is to get off-topic. Kids do say the darnedest things, and sometimes it's just a blast to let them go off. This is especially fun during my small group lessons, which generally consist of about 5 to 10 kids.

A few years ago, we got on the topic of deja vu. I remember one of my 8th grade boys said, "I once heard that deja vu is the soul's way of letting you know you're in exactly the right place at the right time." I sat there kinda stunned -- cause it struck me as being such a great theory. I've since shared that with many people, always crediting Ian (the afore-mentioned kid).

Ya know how when you're lying in bed (or, God forbid, driving your car ;) and you are just beginning to drift off to sleep? When your mind is still working, but suddenly your thoughts become extremely disjointed - and you kinda know you're not fully conscious? During this phase the other night, a thought occurred to me. And yes, it was among the disjointed thoughts so I don't think I was fully conscious. But here was the thought: perhaps it is during this semi-lucid state that our deja vu moments are born.

Do you get it? Like, you're having deja vu one day and you think, "I've been here before -- but when?" Well, perhaps it was during that semi-conscious state. Right? I dunno... it made perfect sense at the time. And no, I wasn't smoking anything prior to going to bed that evening.

Sunday, May 07, 2006


So I've registered for the Chicago Marathon. While crossing the finish line of the Rochester 1/2 last fall, my immediate thoughts were: "God, I'm tired" and "I'm thirsty". But after catching my breath and getting some beverage, I marveled at how well the race went, much better than I could have anticipated. So I decided - pretty much right there and then - that I'd like to try going the whole distance. From what I've read and been told, the first 13 miles of a marathon are relatively easy, it's the second 13 that kill you. I guess this is why I was able to make such a confident decision, having never ventured past that 13-mile mark. But I'm gonna give it a go. Hell, if P. Diddy can do it, why not me? I mean, we've got so much else in common and all.

Two weeks ago, I began a "pre-training" training program. The miles are pretty low right now, but the runs are more frequent and regimented. I need that. I need the chart on my refrigerator telling me which days to run and how far. Funny - the rest of my life is so very scattered - following no set course whatsoever. But this really seems to work for me. There's this nice little boost I get when I cross off each completed run. Like when I was little and got a "Good Job!" sticker on a quiz or something.

I have several routes of different mileage. This morning was 5 and I decided to take a route past this one house that ALWAYS has these great smells coming from it. Sure enough, they were frying up the bacon for Sunday morning breakfast. In the evenings, it always smells like pot roast or grilled burgers. There's something very comforting about this [very carnivorous] family: the idea that they probably take time out to have meals together, a somewhat foreign notion these days.

When I was little (Christ, here she goes, being that old fart again) I remember playing outside after school with this mob of neighborhood kids. We'd ride bikes in each others' yards until each house had its own muddy moat around it. Or play catch in the street. Or brutally mock whichever kid who's turn it was to be the outcast. Meanwhile, there was the warm aroma of dinners being cooked, wafting through windows. And somehere around 5:00, Moms would begin calling their kids home.

I guess that's what running past "The Mmmm House" reminds me of. Simpler times. Good times. Maybe that still happens and I just don't see it. In any case, it's a nice feeling - the memory. Also, having something happy to think about seems to make the miles go by faster.

Saturday, May 06, 2006


Lying here, wishing I could've slept longer. Had a surprisingly tame - but great - night last night. Me & 4 of my girls celebrated "Bees L's" 30th birthday/Cinco de Mayo. I didn't get home and into my bed until after 2 AM due to much commotion in the city.

You know, the usual traffic, crowds, stops at various sex shops... Oh, and the detour I begged them to take past Lincoln Center so I could see that idiot, David Blaine, floating in his human fishtank ("Come on - it's not THAT far out of the way!") I don't know which is more bizarre: his stunt, or the fact that there were 500+ people lined up to see him at 1:00 AM. And wouldn't you know? The bastard was SLEEPING! I did, however, manage to get this fine photo of his foot.

So my plan was to sleep late. But 6:30 AM came and the birds began their grand opera outside my window. It's actually quite nice to lie here and listen to all the different songs (yes, I can get crunchy). But we also have an enormous colony of chipmunks who make this incessant, "chit chit chit chit chit..." - and all at the exact same time. How can one word [chit] mean so many things? Maybe it's like "Aloha" or "Shalom." Or "Smurf."

And also the neighbors next-door have FOUR children under the age of 8. Two are twin 5 year-old boys. And one of them is ALWAYS doing something wrong. And Dad ALWAYS catches him. Loudly. Louder than any chitmunk.

Friday, May 05, 2006


Today we commemorate the victory of the Mexican militia over the French army at The Battle Of Puebla in 1862. It seems that we in the U.S. love to celebrate just about ANYONE kicking French ass, and what better way to do so than over a frosty pitcher of margaritas? I, for one, plan to do my part this evening at Burrito Loco in the Village. Let no man call me anti-American - er, I mean anti-Mexican...?

Today also happens to be a special day because it marks the birth of two of America's most influencial figures: Ann B. Davis and Tina Yothers.

So if you find yourself out and about this evening - shooting tequila and hating the French (ole!) - be sure to drink a very special toast to both Alice (80) and Jennifer Keaton (33).

Thursday, May 04, 2006


I'm sorry I called your concert an "aural assault". Had I known you read this blog I might've written my true opinion of the performance: that it was easily the finest display of talent by the largest group of child prodigies ever gathered in one room. I am hardly worthy to even ATTEMPT putting on my own school concert in 2 weeks (which, by the way, you better fucking be at).

I hang my head in shame.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Tonight HE and I endured a 90-minute aural assault.

My friend Mike, a first-year middle school music teacher, had his first Spring concert.

It was my first time in a long time as a "spectator."

It was also my last.

Monday, May 01, 2006


A few years back I was out with a couple of my gals, having dinner -- and lots of drinks. After dinner in one of our favorite hip towns, we went to this cool theatre we sometimes go to - it shows indie films. When we first got there, my friends went to the bathroom and I went in to get seats. I think it was a weeknight cause I remember there only being two other people in the theatre.

So I am sitting there - slightly inebriated - and the movie starts while they're both still in the bathroom. And something about the opening scene strikes me as eerily familiar: the town - the setting - the buildings... as if I'd been there before. And then I realize - much too slowly - IT'S MY TOWN! And I say aloud (to the other two people in the theatre) "Holy shit! That's MY town!!" It was all very surreal - especially with the drunk factor. When my friends finally came in, they shared my awe. And we spent most of the movie watching the background, seeing if perhaps I would go running by.

Not long after, I was at the movies again - this time I had gone to see "Mystic River" (I'm not sure if I was drunk or not - movies following dinners out usually come with a 50% chance of drunkenness. Alright - maybe more like 80%.) All of a sudden, it strikes me that one of Sean Penn's 'kids' looks remarkably like one of my students. Sure enough, there's her name in the closing credits! Naturally when I saw her in school the next day and said, "Guess what movie I saw this weekend?", she blushed and replied, "Mystic River?" Jeez! It turns out she'd been in quite a few movies. This one with Kevin Bacon - hence the title of the post.

That's twice with the weirdness. But wait --

Tonight I'm sitting there watching this odd indie film I borrowed from the public library (did you know you can get free DVDs at the library now?) Lo and behold, ANOTHER one of my students appears! WTF?!

I just hope that movie I starred in never falls into the wrong hands...