Thursday, October 05, 2006

TURTLE'S TOP NINE

I saw a very well-endowed woman out running today. She looked really uncomfortable - as if they might bounce up and hit her chin. And at that moment, I thanked the Anatomy God for my little B-cups -- the same ones I used to bemoan before I became a runner.

I was thinking of the many strange physical phenomena I've encountered during my marathon training. And while being knocked unconscious by my boobs did not make the list, I'll proudly present the "Top Nine" that did...

#9 - The armor-like calluses I've built up on my feet would scare any unwitting pedicurist back to Asia.

#8 - I've consumed enough protein in gnat-form to qualify as an Atkins disciple.

#7 - I can pee ANYWHERE.

#6 - With the help of my podiatrist, I've learned the correct procedure for lancing, draining and dressing blisters (Yay $18 bottle of Betadine solution!)

#5 - I've come to surpass my deodorant's threshold four times a week.

#4 - I've learned that few things hurt more than the shower jet hitting freshly chafed skin.

#3 - My toenails have been become transparent.

#2 - After long runs, my skin is saltier than the upside of a Pringle.

#1 - My snot-rockets are the envy of all who know me.

17 days to go -- what will normal life be like again?

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Life will NEVER again be normal. Embrace it. ;)