Monday, February 12, 2007

QUASI-JOLSON



This has been the longest day ever. I think it may be the first day I have not left the house since I moved back here nearly two years ago. Even when I'm sick with a cold or something, I have a really hard time not going out to do something - run an errand, take a walk, SOMETHING.

But today I am a freak and my freakiness is highly contagious. So not only will the small children shriek and cry, they will also wake up in a week or so to discover that they too have morphed into scaly monsters. I will spare them the horror and stay holed up in my lair, hoping someone will toss me a live chicken to gnaw on.

Being the fatalist that I am, I can't help but wonder if the pox came about to kind of stop me in my tracks. I've been having a mental debate the past couple weeks - wondering if I should change careers. Now that I've got all this time on my hands, I can sit down and really be introspective.

For as long as I can remember, I've always had these feelings of wanting more out of life. I get these grand-scheme ideas in my head and tend to plunge in without thinking. Sometimes they end up being great experiences (Sedona, for instance and the Chicago Marathon) Other times, the outcomes are not so good. I get antsy in my life and I want change - RIGHTNOW!

And while this job prospect in intriguing, I am not sure it's the answer to my feelings of stagnation. It would mean working 12 months of the year instead of 9, and I'd be making a significantly smaller income. As a teacher in my district, I feel a tremendous sense of job security (if there is such a thing) and don't think I'd get quite the same safety in the business world.

But that's just it: SAFETY. Am I going to live the rest of my life in a safe little bubble? If I do, am I really "living" at all? Are there other ways for me to feel challenged in life that don't mean throwing away what is possibly the sweetest teaching gig in New Jersey?

Fortunately, I have plenty of time to think about these things. I can't even believe it's been just one day. Thank God for blogging and internet Scrabble. If not for them, I might actually have to work on solving world peace or something.

8 comments:

Kate said...

damn girl! that is so not cute. lol. poor thing. hope you feel better soon.

Mike said...

Great pic!

And, internet Scrabble you say? Which site do you play at?

Pensive Turtle said...

ISC -- are you a Scrabble Geek, Mike??

Mike said...

I am! I'm a big time Scrabble geek. I've even been to a few tournaments.

Looks like ISC hosts live games. I typically play at sites where the games span days (or weeks or months). So I keep about a dozen games going and just check in on them when I have a few minutes to make some moves. I'll send you an invite if that sounds appealing. It's not the same experience as playing live, but it's easier than dedicating big blocks of time.

Pensive Turtle said...

Right now my life is one big block of free time. So do send me an invite - I'll try not to frighten away all the players :)

L*I*S*A said...

Oh my...the pox is causing many things, one of which is time to really ponder life's many twists and turns. I have a feeling that before it's all said and done, you will come to a fork in the road and choose your path.

Mike said...

I'd love to, but I need an email address. Email me at ogblay@gmail.com

JerseyBard said...

I'm not a jealous fiancé
I'd never want to be that way
So if Scrabble is your sole affair
My blind eye's turned and I don't care!