Life's been different lately. Maybe it's cause I'm getting older, but I feel like I'm seeing things from a new perspective. I'm realizing that if I wait around for life to happen, it probably won't. And if life DOES happen to happen, I need to take a chance on it.
Did that make sense?
Without saying too much (for fear of jinxing anything... God I hate being superstitious!) I am hoping for a change in my job situation.
I've been teaching at the same middle school for eight years now. It was my first job out of college and it's been 99.9% ideal. I'd never anticipated teaching middle school - EVER. I hated being that age and I was pretty sure I hated all kids between the ages of 11 and 14. Ick.
But I discovered that middle school kids are fun as hell. They're old enough to joke around with and [some of them] are really quite intellectual, but they are still young enough that they don't think they know everything. And I have to say, I've had a great experience building a program there.
The past couple years, however, I have felt my enthusiasm die off. It just seems like I'm living in that horrible Bill Murray movie, "Groundhog Day" where every friggin' day is exactly like the last. And though every year I try to do different things with each class to mix things up, it's still the same scene.
Burned-out teachers suck. I've known quite a few in my lifetime, and I swore that if I myself ever started to burn out, I would not continue to teach. I think I have reached that point. And I feel like I suck.
So here I am at a bit of a crossroads. There are prospects, but nothing I want to say out loud just yet. I'm scared that if I take a chance, I'll fail. But I think it's a far greater crime to fail my students than to fail myself.