Thursday, August 03, 2006

SUMMER VACATION = INTROSPECTION OVERLOAD.

My daily quote today says:

"The one predominant duty is to find one's work and do it."
Charlotte Perkins Gilman
(1860-1935)

Okay. What if you've found your work and you do it, but you're not sure it's the work you're supposed to be doing? What if you're just doing it 'cause they hired you, they pay you, and you don't hate it?

Sometimes I wonder how I even wound up teaching Music. I remember being in high school, and when the time came to figure out what I should go to college for, I kind of stopped and thought, "Well hell -- what do I like doing?" And at the time, I was a pretty big Band geek, so I guess I figured, "Maybe I'll just be a Band geek for a living?"

Music itself was never a huge 'passion' for me like it is for some. It was just something I enjoyed, mainly because of the people who were involved.

But that was it. I went to college and majored in Music, and met people like me. Then in grad school, I met even bigger and better Band geeks. And before I knew it, I was a Music teacher.

Don't get me wrong - it's a great job. I'm lucky to be in an awesome district with great colleagues. But I can't help wondering: what if I'd set off in a completely different direction back in high school? Where would I be? Would I be happier? More fulfilled?

I often wonder how different people end up where they do in their lives. Like, how come I didn't opt to become a real estate agent or a veterinarian? How is it that my one brother became an architect, and the other sells water softeners?

I guess a lot has to do with where and/or what you're born into. And I suppose your role models play an important part. I could definitely say that my strongest role models as a kid were my teachers.

I dunno. I sometimes feel like the world is so very huge, and the options are endless. And I think about all the places I want to go and the things I want to try, and it's just overwhelming to think of everything I could do, if I choose to.

But I don't.

Instead, I sit and blog. Or I put on my sneakers and run. Or I pick up a book and read. And then, before I know it, another day has come to an end. But have I truly done my duty?

1 comment:

normiekins said...

any of my friends who love their jobs have "fallen" into them...most not what they have their degrees in. Its normal to ask yourself "what if".....when you get my age....thinking of switching careers completely..i think it's too late cause of my age.....so this is a constant battle.