REVIEW FROM THE SHELL: KING KONG

Not too long ago, I had an interesting conversation with a [heterosexual] male friend about how the world would be better if it were run by women or gay men.

His theory is that the underlying driving force for all [heterosexual] men is to get laid. That every single action is motivated by the penis: the root of all evil. [Heterosexual] men go to war to gain wealth or power or land to attract women, thereby pleasing the penis. Women, he said, seem to have their sex drives better under control. And since gay men are men and attracted to other gay men, there is no shortage of penis supply.

He made a very convincing case. After seeing ‘King Kong’ last night, I think he may be on to something.

The movie itself was standard “Peter Jackson Epic of Grandeur.” Amazing cinematography, special effects, etc., etc. 3 hours long? Yes, but I didn’t get bored so that’s saying something (though it may have had something to do with the company…*ahem*..)

Having never seen the original, I was unfamiliar with the story. I enjoyed all the ironic and moral lessons. Like Ann’s initial comment of doomed love and the irony of it pertaining to her relationship with Kong. And Denham (Jack-Tenacious D–“Fuck Her Gently”–Black) turning out to be the true beast, representing that inner evil of man (penis).

The irony of the two sacrifices: Ann to Kong (in a very Lord-of-the-Ringsy scene) with the natives in their ceremonial garb, beating drums, cheering – and the sacrifice of Kong to the Broadway audience in their ceremonial garb (tuxes), beating drums (pit orchestra), cheering. Is there really such a difference between the jungles of Skull Island and Depression-era New York City?

On a personal note, Kong’s little temper tantrum when Ann told him “No!” on top of the mountain was disturbingly reminiscent of an evening involving a Brit, a PlayStation and a hole in the living room wall, while the ‘bug scene’ in the cave gave me a new appreciation for my grotto crickets.

In adhering to my friend’s theory, the movie was chock-full o’ phallic symbols and scenes – my favorite being when Lumpy, the cook, gets eaten by a giant, un-circumcised penis with teeth.

All in all, an excellent film, albeit a touch sad. I guess if I wanted the happy ending, I could have left while Kong and Ann were sliding around the ice together. But really, how could that relationship have ever worked? Eventually she would get sick of all the hair in the shower drain.


Btw, I think there may be a conspiracy going on. It seems Naomi Watts and the girl who played Kelly Taylor on 90210 may be the same person. Hmm…