STRENGTH

My oldest brother has been dating a significantly older woman for the past few years. And by "significantly older" I mean yeah, she could be his Mom. She's got kids older than him. She's a grandmother.

It's a weird relationship, I guess. She's a very ballsy woman - the complete opposite of my quiet, needy brother. He needs someone to tell him what to do - she likes to be the teller. I guess that's why they work so well together. They seem to fill each others' voids - they're happy together - and that's what matters.

A couple weeks ago, his girlfriend (maybe I'll say "ladyfriend") was diagnosed with colon cancer. She'd gone in for her routine colonoscopy and they found something. They decided to run more tests and discovered that it had already spread into her liver - tumors all over. She's had this stuff growing inside her for a long time and even though she's gone for her routine testing, the doctors have missed it. And now she's screwed.

It's hard to know what to say to a person who is in that situation. She's the first person in my close family with cancer (mostly we all just have heart disease and mental illness.) I've heard the horrors of cancer - the way it takes its toll. I'm scared for her and I'm scared for my brother. She is his first love - I hope he can be strong through it all.

They say that people come into our lives for a reason. I wonder if having to go through this experience will change my brother. He has always been a germaphobic hypochondriac. Now he has to stand tall while the woman he loves battles the real deal. I figure it will either kill him or transform him. I'm hoping for the latter.