LUCK O' THE NON-IRISH

Oh hell YES today was indeed a snow day! As we speak, I am preparing a festive offering of 40-spice hummus and grapefruits for the Snow Gods. All hail the Snow Gods!

Last night I went to a tricky tray with some of my work friends. For those of you unfamiliar with what a "tricky tray" is, it's a fundraiser event where people and businesses donate baskets or certificates, and people buy tickets and put them in for the baskets they want. Then someone pulls numbers and whoever's ticket is pulled wins the prize. I guess it's like a Chinese auction? Maybe it's the newer, more PC term.

We've gone to this particular tricky tray for the past five years. It is a fundraiser for the Catholic school that PMcQ's daughter used to attend before she moved her into public school. It's a HUGE event held at a banquet hall and, for $40, you get a full 4-course, sit-down dinner and a sheet of white tickets.



There are five different colored tickets - each color representing a different value of prize. The white-ticket prizes are fairly crappy and overabundant. I think they range from like $25 and under. Next is pink which may go from $25-$50; blue is like $50-$100; red - $100-$500; and then the green-ticket items are worth $500 and up. Prices of colored tickets also vary accordingly.

In addition to my sheet of twenty crappy, white tickets, I also bought ten pink tickets, five blue and two red. The room with the prize baskets was jam-packed with big-haired Italian women all fighting to have a look at the items. Proper tricky tray etiquette requires one to crawl along, perusing the tables and dropping in your tickets. Like at IKEA, everyone is supposed to move in the same direction. Violators are prosecuted with dirty looks.

It was about 150 degrees in there and I lasted all of twelve seconds before I started moving in the opposite direction, reaching in between scowling mounds of Aqua Net to choose my baskets. I didn't even know where I tossed them, just that I wanted to be done so I could find my table and have a glass of wine.

On my way towards the door I realized I had a $10 bill left in my pocket and the green-ticket lady was right there. I figured, "What the hell?" and bought one. I scanned the big-ticket items, made a choice and headed to the bar.

They began pulling tickets and serving dinner at 7:00. As usual, we were a rowdy table and drew lots of angry glares from those around us. They called about 200 white-tickets and 150 pink. Three hours later they got through the blue and red. PMcQ somehow managed to win five times - out of the 500+ people in attendance. She has ridiculous luck. No one else at our table won and we were all getting a little cranky.

They called the ten red-ticket prizes and then got to the five greens. Someone won a flat-screen TV. Someone one a full-length leather coat. Someone won a 4-day pass to Disney. And then they called the final grand prize: an overnight luxury cruise for two around the New York harbor. And then they called MY NUMBER!

All in all, it was a fine evening. And then I got to sleep late today and lay around watching the snow pile up. And I realize that being me isn't such a bad deal after all.