I RAN 20 MILES TODAY.
It was hard, but it was great. And it's the farthest I have to go until the real thing (which is just three weeks away!!) I didn't stop to walk, although I did stop to pee at mile 8. Damn walnut-sized bladder of mine.
I feel pretty good right now, aside from a few aches and pains which I think are normal. The weirdest thing is that I am feeling very weepy. I don't know if this has to do with being physically exhausted? I'm standing at the sink washing up some dishes. Bean is here so I have on the Disney channel and that movie "Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey" is on. It's the one about the cat and two dogs that travel miles to be reunited with their family.
And I am absolutely SOBBING through most of it, snot running down my nose into the dishpan. And I'm trying to look like I'm not crying, cause I don't wanna freak out my nephew. So I'm gasping and fake-laughing and scaring him even more.
It's wonderful to feel this much. It's like my senses wanna explode.
This is why I run.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
LIFE AND STUFF.
Holy crap, has it been a week already?? Wow. I forgot that going to work every day leaves me with far less time to sit around in my self-absorbed bubble, analyzing every thought that enters my consciousness.
But work is good!
The year is off to a fantastic start. I have a great group of kids, and my colleagues have all been in very good spirits (so far). I've taken over the position of Media Club Advisor, and with that have also received a phat new MacBook Pro! Just waiting for the Tech. Dept. to load 'er up and then I shall play. Oh, how I'll play...
And after far too long a hiatus, I have picked my trumpet back up and am playing with this great group. I used to play with them back when I was in college, as they were way better than our college wind ensemble at the time. It's good to be part of something musical again - with grownups!
Running is going great. Just did 14 miles, and am about to embark on the toughest week yet which culminates in a 20-miler next Saturday. Then begins the great taper, and the run is less than a month away (29 days to be exact). If I've learned anything from all this running, it's about pacing... the runs and life in general.
Finally this week, my dear BOY is defending the dissertation HE has been working on for the past two years. HE's been a bit nervous - and rightfully so - but I know HE will be great. HE's one of the most brilliant people I have ever known (and I'm not just saying that cause I have sex with HIM). If all goes well, HE will be "DR. HIM" in December.
So that's where I's been. Once again I reiterate, "Life Is Good" -- for as long as it is, I am grateful. And even when it's not -- I'm still grateful.
Holy crap, has it been a week already?? Wow. I forgot that going to work every day leaves me with far less time to sit around in my self-absorbed bubble, analyzing every thought that enters my consciousness.
But work is good!
The year is off to a fantastic start. I have a great group of kids, and my colleagues have all been in very good spirits (so far). I've taken over the position of Media Club Advisor, and with that have also received a phat new MacBook Pro! Just waiting for the Tech. Dept. to load 'er up and then I shall play. Oh, how I'll play...
And after far too long a hiatus, I have picked my trumpet back up and am playing with this great group. I used to play with them back when I was in college, as they were way better than our college wind ensemble at the time. It's good to be part of something musical again - with grownups!
Running is going great. Just did 14 miles, and am about to embark on the toughest week yet which culminates in a 20-miler next Saturday. Then begins the great taper, and the run is less than a month away (29 days to be exact). If I've learned anything from all this running, it's about pacing... the runs and life in general.
Finally this week, my dear BOY is defending the dissertation HE has been working on for the past two years. HE's been a bit nervous - and rightfully so - but I know HE will be great. HE's one of the most brilliant people I have ever known (and I'm not just saying that cause I have sex with HIM). If all goes well, HE will be "DR. HIM" in December.
So that's where I's been. Once again I reiterate, "Life Is Good" -- for as long as it is, I am grateful. And even when it's not -- I'm still grateful.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
DANG ME INNARDS.
I was a total tomboy growing up. I blame it on having two older brothers. It drove my Mom crazy because she'd always wanted a little girl she could dress in pink, and who would be into playing with dolls and dancing ballet. What she got instead was me: jeans, skateboards and sports.
As an adult, I have realized how much greater it is being female. It's clearly the more superior gender. We're smarter, more intuitive, and can get out of speeding tickets by playing dumb to even dumber male cops. I'd say our only downfall is those pesky internal reproductive organs.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have "penis envy" or anything like that. In fact, I often marvel at how strange penis's are, and how miserably inconvenient they must be -- always popping up or flapping around. And let's face it, even the best penis is ugly to look at (except YOUR's -- it's STUNNING!!)
But at least if something goes wrong on a guy, they pretty much know it right away. Women not so much. Tomorrow I have to go in for a colposcopy. After two abnormal Paps, the doc wants to get a better look at things. So this kind of sucks. I'm kind of nervous.
It's still better than having a penis, though.
I was a total tomboy growing up. I blame it on having two older brothers. It drove my Mom crazy because she'd always wanted a little girl she could dress in pink, and who would be into playing with dolls and dancing ballet. What she got instead was me: jeans, skateboards and sports.
As an adult, I have realized how much greater it is being female. It's clearly the more superior gender. We're smarter, more intuitive, and can get out of speeding tickets by playing dumb to even dumber male cops. I'd say our only downfall is those pesky internal reproductive organs.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have "penis envy" or anything like that. In fact, I often marvel at how strange penis's are, and how miserably inconvenient they must be -- always popping up or flapping around. And let's face it, even the best penis is ugly to look at (except YOUR's -- it's STUNNING!!)
But at least if something goes wrong on a guy, they pretty much know it right away. Women not so much. Tomorrow I have to go in for a colposcopy. After two abnormal Paps, the doc wants to get a better look at things. So this kind of sucks. I'm kind of nervous.
It's still better than having a penis, though.
Monday, September 11, 2006
NEVER CLICHÉ, THAT DAY.
I was half-listening to the news while making dinner a little while ago. They were covering 9/11 stuff - local tributes, etc. - and suddenly I got all verklempt while slicing a tomato.
It's strange... Five years have passed and people talk about that day on a regular basis. We talk about who's to blame and what the world has become since that day. And with all that 'coming to terms' with stuff, I kinda feel like my heart should be stronger by now. But I think it's the personal accounts that get me.
People have come to ask, "Where were you when the towers were hit?" I was at school. It was the first week and since we hadn't yet had Band sign-ups, I didn't have any classes going on. I remember walking down the hall towards the bathroom and another teacher telling me that a Cessna or something had hit one of the twin towers. I went to the bathroom thinking, "Duh..."
When I was finished, I wandered down to the main office and knew something was wrong as soon as I went in. The principal, secretaries and a few other teachers were standing around a radio, their faces ashen. I stood with them and listened to the chaos that was ensuing in New York. It felt like the world was coming to an end.
I remember walking back to my room in a daze, passing by classrooms where teachers and kids who had not yet heard were going about their business - laughing, learning. "They have no idea," I remember thinking. And for those brief moments, we were living in two different worlds.
The rest of the day was a blur. I joined the principal and counselors in going to the different classes to talk to the kids. So many of them had Moms or Dads who worked in the city. Parents came in droves to collect their children, and I acted as a runner, finding their kids and bringing them to the office.
The memory that haunts me most is that of a newly widowed mother collapsed with her daughter in the hallway. The husband/father didn't make it out. Another boy - one of my trumpet players - lost his Mom that day.
I didn't see any television until I got home. And when I saw the images, I could not turn them off. At the time, I was sharing a house with a crazy Canadian chick and when she got home from work, we took a drive up to this condo complex on a huge hill. From where we stood we could see the twinkling New York skyline, a large patch of it cloaked in darkness. We could see the smoke still rising from its gaping wound.
I suppose everyone remembers that day in their own way. I remember the faces of the people in the main office. I remember that woman and her daughter in the hallway, broken. I remember U2's "Stuck In A Moment" playing on the radio as I drove home from school, and how I can never hear it without thinking of that day.
I also remember the days following, when we as a nation felt the type of camaraderie that only comes from surviving a tragedy. I remember wondering how long that bond would last. And now, five years later, I still feel it, and I can say that my life has changed. I think I stop to smell the roses a little more, and I tell the people in my life that I love them.
Our world is so complex and so very fragile.
I was half-listening to the news while making dinner a little while ago. They were covering 9/11 stuff - local tributes, etc. - and suddenly I got all verklempt while slicing a tomato.
It's strange... Five years have passed and people talk about that day on a regular basis. We talk about who's to blame and what the world has become since that day. And with all that 'coming to terms' with stuff, I kinda feel like my heart should be stronger by now. But I think it's the personal accounts that get me.
People have come to ask, "Where were you when the towers were hit?" I was at school. It was the first week and since we hadn't yet had Band sign-ups, I didn't have any classes going on. I remember walking down the hall towards the bathroom and another teacher telling me that a Cessna or something had hit one of the twin towers. I went to the bathroom thinking, "Duh..."
When I was finished, I wandered down to the main office and knew something was wrong as soon as I went in. The principal, secretaries and a few other teachers were standing around a radio, their faces ashen. I stood with them and listened to the chaos that was ensuing in New York. It felt like the world was coming to an end.
I remember walking back to my room in a daze, passing by classrooms where teachers and kids who had not yet heard were going about their business - laughing, learning. "They have no idea," I remember thinking. And for those brief moments, we were living in two different worlds.
The rest of the day was a blur. I joined the principal and counselors in going to the different classes to talk to the kids. So many of them had Moms or Dads who worked in the city. Parents came in droves to collect their children, and I acted as a runner, finding their kids and bringing them to the office.
The memory that haunts me most is that of a newly widowed mother collapsed with her daughter in the hallway. The husband/father didn't make it out. Another boy - one of my trumpet players - lost his Mom that day.
I didn't see any television until I got home. And when I saw the images, I could not turn them off. At the time, I was sharing a house with a crazy Canadian chick and when she got home from work, we took a drive up to this condo complex on a huge hill. From where we stood we could see the twinkling New York skyline, a large patch of it cloaked in darkness. We could see the smoke still rising from its gaping wound.
I suppose everyone remembers that day in their own way. I remember the faces of the people in the main office. I remember that woman and her daughter in the hallway, broken. I remember U2's "Stuck In A Moment" playing on the radio as I drove home from school, and how I can never hear it without thinking of that day.I also remember the days following, when we as a nation felt the type of camaraderie that only comes from surviving a tragedy. I remember wondering how long that bond would last. And now, five years later, I still feel it, and I can say that my life has changed. I think I stop to smell the roses a little more, and I tell the people in my life that I love them.
Our world is so complex and so very fragile.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
HEMINGWAY CAT.
Fuuuuck. Today was just plain hard. I did 16 miles, but they were neither fun nor easy. I think running without the iPod is a bad idea because without the music, my mind has nothing to concentrate on except for the looming miles and the little aches and pains.
I'll be going along fine and then I'll start to think about how much farther I have to go and how I can't fathom taking one more step. I'll think, "Fuck it, I'll just stop... 'cause really, who's making me do this anyway?" And the answer is as simple as it is frustrating: I AM. If I stop, I'm only letting myself down. So I press on.
And I did finish, even though it sucked. I think I was probably a little stupid to go out for Happy Hour yesterday. I didn't get hammered or anything, but I've learned by now that alcohol + running = shitty results. Shame on me. And shame on you, Cosmos, for being so damn tasty.
Ah well, at least I did gain something from today's run. I appear to be growing a sixth toe on my left foot. Maybe I'll move out to Key West when all this training is over. I hear the conch fritters are to die for. Mmmm... conch.
Fuuuuck. Today was just plain hard. I did 16 miles, but they were neither fun nor easy. I think running without the iPod is a bad idea because without the music, my mind has nothing to concentrate on except for the looming miles and the little aches and pains.
I'll be going along fine and then I'll start to think about how much farther I have to go and how I can't fathom taking one more step. I'll think, "Fuck it, I'll just stop... 'cause really, who's making me do this anyway?" And the answer is as simple as it is frustrating: I AM. If I stop, I'm only letting myself down. So I press on.
And I did finish, even though it sucked. I think I was probably a little stupid to go out for Happy Hour yesterday. I didn't get hammered or anything, but I've learned by now that alcohol + running = shitty results. Shame on me. And shame on you, Cosmos, for being so damn tasty.Ah well, at least I did gain something from today's run. I appear to be growing a sixth toe on my left foot. Maybe I'll move out to Key West when all this training is over. I hear the conch fritters are to die for. Mmmm... conch.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
EH...
First day back was okay. It's weird: after spending three months being more or less alone 80% of the time, I found it really uncomfortable to be around so many people. It's like I'd become de-socialized or something. I felt a little anxious, truthfully. Not sure what that was all about, but I didn't really like it.
We had a Coffee Hour from 8-9 AM in the high school cafeteria. That entailed standing around asking everyone you see, "How was your summer? Do anything cool?" and then feigning interest, while not giving a rat's ass and wishing you were home in bed. I lasted about 2 minutes before escaping to find the two band directors, who were naturally hiding in their bandroom.
After the district and teachers' union meetings, we were sent to our respective buildings for yet another meeting. Then they fed us lunch and we were dismissed to do stuff in our classrooms.
I dunno what it is. All summer I've been psyching myself up to have a really positive, exciting year. And now that it's upon me, I feel less than enthused. Anxiety. But I don't know why.
First day back was okay. It's weird: after spending three months being more or less alone 80% of the time, I found it really uncomfortable to be around so many people. It's like I'd become de-socialized or something. I felt a little anxious, truthfully. Not sure what that was all about, but I didn't really like it.
We had a Coffee Hour from 8-9 AM in the high school cafeteria. That entailed standing around asking everyone you see, "How was your summer? Do anything cool?" and then feigning interest, while not giving a rat's ass and wishing you were home in bed. I lasted about 2 minutes before escaping to find the two band directors, who were naturally hiding in their bandroom.
After the district and teachers' union meetings, we were sent to our respective buildings for yet another meeting. Then they fed us lunch and we were dismissed to do stuff in our classrooms.
I dunno what it is. All summer I've been psyching myself up to have a really positive, exciting year. And now that it's upon me, I feel less than enthused. Anxiety. But I don't know why.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
CRIKEY!
I just read that Steve Irwin died this weekend. A stingray's spiny tail punctured his heart while he was swimming with it off the Australian coast. I'm not sure why this made me sad - clearly, it was bound to happen sooner or later - the guy made his living pissing off dangerous animals. But maybe that's the whole reason why it's so sad.
While running this morning I saw the first round of this year's school buses, zooming around to pick up disgruntled high schooler's all seemingly wearing dark jeans, black sweatshirts, and dour expressions. Ah, September...
My district starts Thursday and Friday for teachers, and the kiddies come next Monday. It's been a great summer but I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. I'm ready for a good year, even if my job is not as glamorous as the Croc Hunter's.
But then again, I've never heard of anyone being killed by an angry pre-adolescent trombonist.
I just read that Steve Irwin died this weekend. A stingray's spiny tail punctured his heart while he was swimming with it off the Australian coast. I'm not sure why this made me sad - clearly, it was bound to happen sooner or later - the guy made his living pissing off dangerous animals. But maybe that's the whole reason why it's so sad.
While running this morning I saw the first round of this year's school buses, zooming around to pick up disgruntled high schooler's all seemingly wearing dark jeans, black sweatshirts, and dour expressions. Ah, September...
My district starts Thursday and Friday for teachers, and the kiddies come next Monday. It's been a great summer but I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. I'm ready for a good year, even if my job is not as glamorous as the Croc Hunter's.
But then again, I've never heard of anyone being killed by an angry pre-adolescent trombonist.
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