Friday, December 16, 2005

The Downward Spiral of the Cosmo.

First cosmo imbibed by the drinker at 4:30 PM on an empty stomach, having had only a cup of Lipton soup & half a banana about 5 hours prior. It seeps into the brain - flooding the lower extremeties with a warm, numb sensation. A lovely prelude.

After the second cosmo, the drinker tends to get chatty and amorous. Starts to wander around the bar, small-talking the cute men who stand with their bottles of Bud and Corona. Suddenly intellect is no longer a requirement, as long as they're mildly attractive and willing to flirt back. Hormones are in full-swing, pheromones oozing from every pore.

The third cosmo generally leads to a melancholy state, wherein the drinker starts to pine for the Old Flame. Luckily, this drinker happens to be surrounded by good friends who will not allow her to wallow in above-mentioned state very long. Instead, they swiftly lead her to a completely new level induced by a shot of lucious Cuervo tequila.

Post-tequila, all one wants is food, and lots of it. The greasier the better. So the drinker is whisked off to Chili Willie's - a top-notch purveyor of Mexican food - where she consumes mass quantites of proteins and fats. Once the drinker finds herself back at home, nothing is more inviting than 2 Advils, a giant tumbler of water, and the beckoning of her soft floor.

A fine evening, for which she will pay handsomely tomorrow morning.

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