DOG DAYS OF SUMMER

Wow. I could've had a baby in the time since I last blogged. Don't worry though, I didn't.

And rather than make excuses for why I haven't blogged, or give you some lame updates about what I've been doing during the past 9 months, here are five random things about my day today:

1. There's an old man who swims laps in the slow lane of the pool at the Y. He arrives every morning (at least, the mornings I am there) at 8:00 a.m. and puts on his snorkel mask. Then he proceeds to creep along like one of those 200-year old sea turtles, back and forth. I don't like swimming in the lane next to him - and I definitely won't share his lane - because I don't know what his motive is for wearing the snorkel mask.

2. I put in a work order to have the toilet seat fixed in my bathroom. A cute, young maintenance kid came to replace it. After about five minutes, he informed me that he'd gotten the wrong color - bone instead of white - and that he'd be back soon to replace it. In the meantime, could I deal with the color?
"Hell yes," I replied. "This way I won't have to clean it and no one will know!"

3. The fact that bone is a color kind of grosses me out.

4. I spent about 45 minutes cleaning a food processor that my in-laws gave us last year. It's been sitting in its box in the garage. I've been a little afraid to deal with it, but we have six really ripe peaches and I found this great recipe for making peach sorbet (which requires a food processor).

After cleaning all the blades and containers, etc., I no longer felt like making sorbet. I thought about packing up the food processor and maybe selling it on eBay. Then I realized that I had recycled the box about an hour before. I also realized I have absolutely no room in any kitchen cabinet to store the damn thing. So I wrapped it all up in plastic ShopRite bags and put it under the sink it the cat's bathroom - the last inch of free storage space in the whole house.

5. Yes, our cat has his own bathroom. Don't worry, he hasn't got a tub.