GROUNDHOG DAY

[DISCLAIMER: Rather than list a bunch of bullshit excuses about why I haven't posted in 5 months, I am just going to pretend like I've been here all along. And I think I'll refrain from promising myself to blog every day, as I know damn well that isn't going to happen.]



So this morning I went for an ultrasound. The technician was this little Indian guy and he was truly 'jolly' - a quality that I don't attribute to many people. But he was definitely jolly, and I took his presence as a sign from the universe, reminding me that a year ago today I was in India, surrounded by thousands of jolly Indians at the District Conference.

My technician had a very soothing manner. As he rolled the wand back and forth over my abdomen, he calmly directed me to "Breathe iiiiiiin.... and breathe oooooouuuut." He pointed out my liver, spleen and kidney ("looks just like kidney bean, right?")

When he finished, I remarked, "Well thanks, now I am done with my daily pranayama." His face lit up and he laughed.
"You do pranayama every day?" he asked
"Well, not as often as I should," I confessed.

It was as good as the experience could have been.

I went to an endocrinologist a couple weeks ago to find out why I am having women issues. She did a lot of bloodwork and, in the process of discovering I have like zero estrogen, she also found an abnormality in my liver function. Hence the abdominal ultrasound this morning. Last Friday I had an MRI done on my head to make sure there was nothing structurally interfering with my pituitary and hypothalmus. Crazy shit.

Driving home from the MRI, I had a weird, fatalistic moment. I really got to thinking about how we are so much more than our bodies. That our selves (souls, perhaps) really make us who we are, and our bodies are mere instruments. However, our instruments can fail. And even if we think we're immortal or invincible, we are so very fragile. It was a bit much.

Anyway, that's my story for the day. That, and I am off playing hooky. The weather is lovely and I should really take advantage of the sunshine while it's here.