WORLD'S GREATEST RECIPE

I'm boredboredbored today. Waiting for it to be 12:30 so I can go make a presentation to a local 55+ group about the Old People Band. It's humid and rainy and gross outside and doesn't feel like a New Jersey October. Thanks a lot, Al Gore. Yes, I know Al Gore is not solely responsible for global warming - but I have to blame someone.

I just ate my lunch. I made my favorite sandwich. Here is the recipe...

- 1 Morningstar Farms Garden Vegetable frozen patty
- 2 Kashi Go-Lean frozen waffles (any flavor will do - today I used blueberry)
- 1 slice white American cheese
- Ketchup and pickle relish

Put waffles in toaster and push down toasting lever. While that's going on, microwave veggie burger on a paper plate for one minute. When it's done, flip it over and microwave it an additional 30 seconds. Place cheese slice (unwrapped) on top of veggie burger and microwave for 20 seconds more.

When the waffles are done (and it's best if you cook them until they're crispy) place cooked veggie burger (avec cheese) on a waffle. Squirt a little ketchup and pickle relish on top and add the second waffle as a lid. Cut it in half and enjoy.

Around 300 calories with lots of fiber, protein and tasty goodness. Unfortunately, I ate it before I thought to take a picture of it. So instead, I offer you this portrait, which bears an astonishing likeness to the real thing:

LET THE FUN BEGIN

I don't post often enough. I usually wait for something really big or funny or exciting to happen in my life and then I figure it's worth posting about. The thing is though, NOTHING really big or funny or exciting ever happens in my life.

Except for the WalMart guy. He was all three.

So in an effort to post more - because I really do like to blog - I will no longer wait for something big or funny or exciting to happen. You will now just get the very bare-bones, mundane, everyday shit.

Here goes. Enjoy.

I was reading the paper this morning and there was an article about some local costume shop gearing up for Halloween. There was a photo of this hip-looking young salesguy with a little girl wearing a cowboy hat and the little girl's Mom. It was not a very interesting article by any means, but what captured my attention was the hip-looking young salesguy's name in the photo's caption: "Logan Gray."

What a great name!! If you go through life with a name like "Logan Gray" you're bound to be cool and successful. Probably start out in some teen magazine and then end up on a soap opera. I think we'll see more of Logan in the near future. Maybe I should stop by the costume shop and see if I can become his agent (though with a name like that, he's bound to already have several agents.)

On an equally unexciting note, one of the ladies here in the office gave me a calander for my wall. It is put out by Turkey Hill ice cream and every month has a mouth-watering recipe on the top, accompanied by a painfully drool-inducing photo. Some days I will stare at the photo for long periods of time and drift into a state of euphoric meditation.

October's recipe is for "Choco-Mocha Cookie Sandwiches." The picture is of these giant homemade chocolate chip cookies sandwiching some lucious coffee ice cream.

Ohmm Mmm.

BRAWL-MART

Holy shit I am so bored. Today is one of those afore-mentioned days where I am spending the majority of my time waiting for someone else to do something so that I can do what I need to do. Right now I am waiting for this guy in Milwaukee to call. And it sucks.

Last night I walked over to the WalMart to see if they had a book I need for the new book club I joined. They didn't. But since I can always find something I "need" at WalMart, I picked up a bottle of dish detergent.

There were only two registers open and mobs of angry customers were standing around grumbling. I headed to the self-service lanes (which were also jammed up) and was standing in line when all of a sudden, a good ol' fashioned screamin' match done broke out!

This big dope started roughing up this poor little Indian guy. It was very intense and all of the other shoppers just stood there, gawking. It reminded me of the Kitty Genovese story I read about in high school. It's amazing and pretty sad how in a crisis situation, people really don't do a damn thing to help out others who are in distress.

Some people are even insensitive enough to stand there taking pictures with their camera phone.

WAIT -- WHAT?

I heard this song today while driving - I don't recall putting it into my iPod. It must have come off one of my hundreds of 80's CDs.

God did it ever take me back...

Summer of 1988: On my way into 8th grade. Bad hair, low self-esteem and the height of puberty. I even had the same fringey, acid-washed jean jacket that the guitarist is wearing. Those were the days.